Sources confirm that Green Star Productions Office PA Justin Bennets is close to to snapping as the executive staff places their lunch orders, each including a laundry list of unnecessary additions and substitutions. Every scratch of pen-on-menu that indicates another ridiculous alteration to a sandwich pushes the twenty-three-year-old further toward complete nervous collapse.
“It’s like this every day”, said Justin as he walked the five-block trek from the office to the lot where he’s allowed to park his 1998 Toyota Corolla. “I’m terrified they’re gonna fire me if I get something wrong. No one just wants the number 1.”
An obtained copy of the menu paints a grim picture of the daily lunch situation. The barely-legible handwriting indicates that “Roy” would like a BLT sandwich – with squash instead of lettuce, onion instead of tomato, and sprouts instead of bacon.
“Why even order the BLT?” Justin said as he hit his head on the steering wheel in frustration. “Today, someone ordered orange juice, but asked me to make sure they use juice from a grapefruit instead of an orange. Grapefruit juice is on the menu, but they like the bottles that the orange juice comes in.”
The worst is yet to come. After braving the ninety minutes of gridlocked downtown traffic it takes to get lunch back to the office, Justin watches in miserable silence as his bosses enjoy two or three bites of their orders before shoving them into the office refrigerator. “They always say they’ll eat the leftovers tomorrow, but they never do” Justin says, nearing the verge of tears. “These full boxes of food just sit here all week until I throw them out when I clean out the fridge on Friday afternoons.”
Justin hardly has time to mourn the unconsumed, as his first task after lunch is to pick up coffee. “We order Starbucks a lot, but the only Starbucks they like is the one in Pasadena” Justin mutters as he fills out a mileage form that he knows deep down will be ignored anyway. “The barista there has ‘nicer handwriting’ than the barista at the Starbucks that’s right next to our office.”