Hi, I see that you’ve just gotten another parking ticket. I’ve been there too. It’s kind of what being an Angeleno is all about. Mind if I offer you a small kernel of advice? I just want to clarify one of the most common misconceptions about parking tickets here and that is this:
If you eat and swallow your parking ticket, you’re still responsible for paying the fine.
I know. Insane, right? You’d think that the Parking Violations Bureau would reward a person who can take a negative situation and make a meal out of it. Unfortunately, you’ll have no luck if you go that route, as that yummy, chewy ticket paper will only end up becoming a $68 meal.
A lot of people might tell you otherwise, but take it from me, a man who has tried eating his parking tickets on multiple occasions. And this applies to multiple neighborhoods. A ticket from West Hollywood that I once boiled and ate in pork broth was treated no differently than a ticket from Santa Monica that I shredded and fried like hash browns. Almost every instance in which I have transformed my parking tickets into a satisfying meal has resulted in the same fine as before.
And before you ask, the answer is No. These people will not listen to reason.
I have tried calling the Parking Violations Bureau on multiple occasions and have let them know that even though I had eaten my ticket with a masterfully prepared wine reduction, the charges were still showing up on my record. They explained that eating a ticket would have no effect on the violation and that I should stop eating my tickets, to which I replied, “No. I will not stop eating my tickets. They taste good and I like it.” They have hung up on me every time.
So before you even think about using that ticket to roll up some sushi, just know that even if you eat it, it will remain 100% valid. Trust me.