The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences confessed today that the nominees for the Best Animated Feature Oscar are only a formality, as Inside Out will win heavily due to an Academy-wide obsession with the film.
Academy voter Janet Tully said she will undoubtedly be casting her ballot for Inside Out, which strives to teach children about their psychology by personifying five key emotions inside the brain of an eleven-year-old girl. “My memories of the movie are all joyful yellow orbs,” said Tully, herself a grown woman.
“I know it’s meant for kids, but Inside Out helped me understand my own emotions,” said Ken Packer, another Academy voter and adult, who pushed his “yucky” broccoli to the side of his plate as he spoke. “I’m hoping it wins, because if it doesn’t, Anger is gonna have a field day on my control console.”
Bill Kroyer, one of the Academy’s three Governors for its Short Films and Feature Animation branch, said that he’s petitioning to increase the amount of Academy Governors to five to match the characters from the film: “[Jon] Bloom is Fear, [Bob] Rogers is Disgust, and I’m clearly Joy; how can we be complete like Riley if we don’t have Anger and Sadness?”
Despite competition in the category, Kroyer isn’t worried about the chances of Inside Out’s victory. “I’m pretty sure I saw the other movies, but I don’t remember them. They’re in long-term memory. Forgetter Paula probably dropped them into the Memory Dump by now,” continued Kroyer, who insisted his interview be conducted in the Chuck E. Cheese that he—not his children—was having a playdate in.
In fact, Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs is so confident in Inside Out’s success that she instructed PricewaterhouseCoopers, the Academy’s voting accountants, to not bother counting the votes for the animated films. “Their Headquarters would be better used for something more challenging, like making sure DiCaprio’s Oscar Island doesn’t collapse.”
