On a Wednesday afternoon, Daniel Thompson and a small group of his friends drove down to Disneyland to pretend that they were taking time off from their full time jobs when in actuality, they were celebrating the fact that they’d just managed to watch all of Parks & Rec on Netflix in a week. “It sure does feel good to finally be outside again,” Thompson said, as if he and his group of slacker friends had actually spent time inside of a real-life office building contributing anything of value to society.
As they sat down to their reservations at the Blue Bayou, Becca Jordan announced that she’d be getting everyone’s meal. “Mama just got paid!” Jordan said, referring not to a big paycheck from her place of work, but to her mother getting paid and making a big transfer to her bank account. The rest of the group cheered and congratulated her, as none of them could remember the value of earning money for themselves.
“I love my job,” George Barber lied through his teeth as he got in line for Space Mountain, “but sometimes you just need to take a break from it all.” As he waited in line, Barber kept repeatedly whispering, “I earned this,” to himself.
As Thompson and his friends exited the ride, they rushed to see their photo. All three of them held up signs that read: We have jobs. They all laughed as they rushed to Instagram their picture with the hashtag #myjobpaidforthistriptodisneyland
But not everyone was fooled. Deborah Sanders, another annual passholder, said of Thompson and his friends, “It’s so sad to see such delusional kids. One day, they’ll find themselves real jobs.” Sanders then pretended to pick up a briefcase and sat down on a nearby bench which she thought was her “company car,” and pretended to drive away.
