During a stretch of moderate afternoon rain earlier this week, Los Angeles’ population of ignorant asshole drivers loudly commented that none of the assholes in this city know how to drive.

“It’s unbe-goddamn-lievable,” said Culver City jag-off Charlie Sambach while maneuvering his Toyota Camry to within six inches of the car in front of him. “It’s just a little drizzle, you prick. Go!”

According to a poll of 2,000 southern California residents, a strong majority believe the 0.4 inches of rain that hit the area this week is primarily responsible for the awful driving of all these cockhat assclowns.

“This stupid Prius – I swear the driver must be blind,” said local shit-for-brains Melinda Washington, unaware that her Range Rover was now taking up two lanes. “Have you never seen rain before?”

Meteorologist Colin Portner told reporters that a low pressure system in the Pacific could bring more rain and abysmal driving to the region.

“As the low pressure system moves inland, we may see scattered showers throughout the week, as well as an increase in total fucktards skidding all over the freaking road,” he said.

As Portner finished his comments, he sped out of the KTLA lot into oncoming traffic on Sunset Blvd., forcing a cyclist onto the sidewalk and spraying rainwater onto an elderly couple.