Today, history is being made as the Chaz Dean billboard at the corner of Franklin and Western is being taken down, despite no one knowing who Chaz Dean truly is in real life. This particular Chaz Dean Billboard has occupied its space for the last 35 years and was the first of its kind to be erected. Researchers hope that its dismantling may give the residents of Los Feliz and the greater Hollywood area some long over due answers about the life and times of the mysterious figure known as Chaz Dean.
“I was born and raised in this neighborhood so the Chaz Dean billboard has always been a part of my life,” said 25-year-old Los Feliz native Olivia Alvarez. “It is going to feel strange not seeing Chaz’s face looking over me. His face always made me feel safe, even though we don’t know anything about him.”
At the time of this article being written, the author has found the following facts about Mr. (we’re assuming) Chaz Dean. He is of American descent and his occupation is as a hair stylist for movies and television shows. Besides that, his marital status, sexual orientation, ethnicity, address, and date of birth have been unable to be found. Chaz Dean is an unsolvable puzzle locked away in a black hole of information.
“I used to have a daily tradition,” said Local resident George Barber. “Every morning I would drive by Chaz Dean and kiss my fingers and cross my heart. Just a little ritual like that would give me comfort in harder times. I’m going to miss him. Long live Chaz Dean, whom or whatever he is.”
Logic would dictate that Chaz Dean would have to be around 95 years old, as his likeness on the billboard appears to be in his mid to late 60’s but experts are divided on how long Chaz Dean has existed.
“We can carbon date the materials used to create the advertisement but the elements like weather erosion will likely cause any test we run to be inconclusive,” said Los Angeles Historian Nathan Masters. “Something tells me we will never truly know the absolute origin of the person, thing or idea that is what we human beings on Earth ‘perceive’ as our ‘image’ of what our eyes ‘tell us’ is Chaz Dean.”
The billboard is being taken down at approximately 9:00 am Pacific Standard Time to any of those wishing to give the Chaz Dean billboard a final goodbye. Officials warn people making the pilgrimage to take caution not to disturb the ongoing and unrelated excavation of 12 recently found crystal skulls found inexplicably close to the billboard.
