Scott Ingram, a rock climbing instructor with 15,000+ followers on Instagram, recently assured his friends and family that, despite occasionally receiving blow jobs from gay admirers, he’s still straight.
“It’s not like I blow them back,” Ingram said at one of the 12 CrossFit gyms where he’s an instructor. “In this day of age, I actually think it’s homophobic to say that a guy’s gay just because he lets another bro blow him. One of the guys who blows me, Sam, he’s black. So am I black just because I let a black guy suck my dick?”
Ingram only dates women, especially girls who aren’t afraid to let their finger wander around a man’s asshole, and ladies who like threesomes with two men.
“Some people say it’s homophobic to deny being gay, like it’s bad or something,” he said. “I’m not a homophobe; every single one of my guy friends is gay. I just don’t want people saying something about me that’s not true.”
Scott usually downs several beers and makes sure to be watching “sports of some sort” when getting head from one of his 15 regular blow job buddies. “They know there won’t be any romantic stuff, no kissing or cuddling, no anal, just me getting head and imagining a sexy, well-lit Natalie Portman in that stunning pink Lanvin dress from the Globes .”
He also says he only leans on his guy friends for fellatio when there’s a shortage of sweeties. “Oh if I’m in a relationship with a girl? I don’t get head from anyone else, and definitely not a dude. This is just a last resort, especially if I’m dating a girl who likes face-down, ass-up anal.”
Scott, who says he’s “1,000 percent” straight, is currently single. “I’m really, really, really picky when it comes to girls. There’s a very rare, very specific type of woman who can hold my interest,” he said. “Like, give me a stunning Grace Kelly or a Bonnie and Clyde-esque Faye Dunaway.”
